best friend
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
7:36 PM


amanda j, if ya'll knew her you would understand what a true friend truely is. This is the one who holds me down. the one who continues to let me know i'm such a wonderful person & i deserve the best that is out there. Without her as my best friend, i would be lost in this world of fake, unloyal, & disrespectful people. Gladly though, amanda stays with me through thick & thin. When i was sick, she was there, when my mom has been crazy, she was there, when my brother was gone, she was there, when men have hurt me, she was there, & best but not least, when i dealt with not being able to play sports, amanda was there. I am able to talk to her about anything you can think of, & she never looks at me any different then she did day 1. this bitch holds me down! Never in my life would i loose her, because without her i wouldnt be the woman i am today.

amanda, i love you to death, you mean nothing less then the world we live in. i want you to know, that no matter what happens, you are my ride or die bitch & not one person in this world can take that away from you.





a girl with no name =(
7:34 PM
emptiness is your thick heart shaped like a box with no opening,
i've been domesticated in a locked house with no key,
thrown away, trashed, restored, adorned, and thrown away again ..
would you really want to indulge in corrupt indignity,
or play duck, duck, goose with little girl who likes to bite?
sometimes i think i should wash away all my sins,
let them go,
but the waters so cold it burns my skin.
at times ... something sets me free,
and i be like a dove in the sky.
then the rain begins to punch down at me,
and the white washes away to pitch black.
so endless and so empty i cant even see myself anymore,
and i'm still left with no clue to my identity.

my fav quotes.
7:28 PM
"Love your enemies & pray for those who prosecute you."

"Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome evil by God."

"He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends."

"Choose to do what you can do, and God will help you do what you cannot do. Do your best, trust God, and he will do the rest."

"Head up, chin out, hair blowing in the wind, the living picture of the hero-eyne."

..more to come!

peace.
7:22 PM
singed sweet and soft
taste the bruised of an old war
take a look at your cannons
silly toys compared to my hands
the sun can rise & set all it wants
there is no due time for peace to come
rusted, ruined, and raped
taste the blackened meat & infected eggs
take a look at all that isnt
an isnt that almost never was
peace can be made all it wants
there is no more time to end human wounds.

seasons of me.
7:17 PM
i am like a tree
with different shades of me
standing very tall
just for all to see
nature views me silently
i see the world so quietly
im merry during spring and summer
bright and full of bloom
i grow and grow so they will know
that i am no willow
autumn comes so suddenly
i change most visibly
i listen to the wind more often
speaking with a rapid rustle
my leaves fall down
onto the ground
no more will they be seen
autumn changes into winter
invisibility
when i see the sun draw near
i know its time for spring.


i absolutely love this song!
Monday, October 27, 2008
8:20 PM

LOVE LOCKDOWN from kwest on Vimeo.

when this song plays; you will definately find me in front of the mirror singing & dancing. Ask my big brother; while his fiance; him & i were driving to the hospital saturday to see my mom; his fiance & i were jamming EXTRA hard to this song in the car. He said he was actually embarrassed because of the people watching from other cars. Im saying tho; WHO GIVES A FUCK!? when are you seriously going to ever see those ppl again; & this song so hot; you cant even resist.

*jumps up & down singing KEEP YOUR LOVE LOCKDOWN!

now imagine me dancing like those in the videos; yeah i can do it HOE!
LMAO.

scared.
7:41 PM
while browsing through a friends blogspot; i read the comment that the only thing that scares him is living & BAM just like that i wanted to write. In life; there are plenty of things people are seriously scared of ... heights; big dogs; water; bugs & so on... Yes bugs scare me, so do fish; but the thing that scares me most is living. Im scared to get old & see what my future holds. Im 21, have my own house; own car, i work full time & pay all my bills. When dating, im the type that wants to settle down. Yes i may be young; but i also have a failing liver. Not many people understand what its like to have a health issue that can ruin your future. With my failing liver; i may not make it to 40; or even 35. I want to have a family just like everyone else; find the one who completes me and live happily ever after. I may be young; but i may not be able to live a long life like everyone else. Im scared that i will get married, have a child, and then become ill and leave my child with only their father as i fall ill. Is it worth it to put someone thro that much pain; or to have a child who may not grow up without their mother? who honestly knows. All i know is i want that happiness in my life; and i believe that one day i will be able to find someone who understands that and is strong enough to be with me. Strong enough in which if i get ill, they can hold my head up as well as my childs. If i pass; i need a man who will let my child know; i loved them with every ounce of love i had. I dont want my child to grow up thinking i left them on this earth on purpose without a mother.

if you want; comment, and you can post what scares you.
Information
Erin Marie 23 years young - female Born & raised in Chicago.




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