Monday, June 29, 2009
1:44 AMSo i was discussing dating with my friend & he mentioned to me that i don't realize something. He says i dont realize that males are afraid of commitment. Looking back at my prev relationships & the guys i have been interested in previously it made sense.
My friend said to me, "Do you ever realize that when a woman is ready to settle down a guy is never around?" Then it was mentioned how when a woman brings up commitment men think of "excuses" not to be with you. EX: a male told me "i dont like the thought of you being with another man, or another man touching you." I said "alright then be with me, lock me down so no one else can have me." He responded with " i can't do that right now i have other stuff i have to deal with first." now with that i sat & waited thinking he was going to tell me what "other stuff" he had to deal with. he claims he has friends that want to be with him, but he doesnt know how to tell them no because he doesn't want to loose a friendship. Now the question is, if you don't want to be my man, why complain about how you hate the thought of me being with someone else? If you hated it that much, you'd be with me so you had no worries.
I am willing to be with someone now (we'll call him Incognito) & i tell Incognito all the time how i feel about him. His trust in me is not that good due to a mistake i made when we first started talking, but i don't blame him. I then began to work on building my trust back up with him, & right when i thought things were going well he decided to tell me "right now i can't give you what you are looking for. you do you, ima do me & when i'm ready i'll let you know. " Of course in my mind i thought "oh im not going to do me because there's no one that i'm attracted to besides you". & of course with my luck i met some one new. (We'll name him Bob.) Met bob, and of course he didnt grab my attention right away because i wasn't even interested in finding anyone. But then, it just grew into more than a friendship. After awhile things fell apart, but Incognito realized that i was "talking" to someone & in his mind i'm pretty sure he was thinking "if she like me why she talking to another dude?" which makes perfect sense, but yet you told me to do me. so unexpectedly i did. Bob & me eventually decided to just remain friends, being more than friends was just too much for us to handle. After the fact i realized how much i truely want Incognito & the thing about him is that even if i was with another male, if incognito came to me & said "i'm ready", whoever i am with at the time would be dropped on a dime. Due to the fact i've been waiting for incognito for what seems like everrr, if he gave me the chance i'd jump at it so quick. Honestly, i'm not sure if he is scared of commitment, or just scared of being with me due to my past. If i was to settle down & be serious with someone, there are no worries necessary.
I have always wanted a man that can complete me, give me what i'm missing in my life. If & when i get him, he will be THE ONLY man in my life. Of course i will have male friends, but everyone & their mama will know that i have a man, & he is my everything. Seems a little much, but that's all i wanted. & incognito seems to be the perfect squeeze for it. Something about me makes it difficult, but i am trying to work on it. Incognito is the one who pointed this out to me also. I am very impatient. If i want something from someone & they don't give it to me when i need it, i go somewhere else. I hate that about me because i pass up the good opportunities. I want to put my all & everything into incognito, but it's hard when he is unsure about it. At this point i'm unsure about it all. The only thing i am sure about is my feelings towards him. They have not changed & they won't change. The question is though, do i keep pushing to make an us, or do i do me until he is ready?
I hate the thought of me doing me now. I dont want incognito to think i dont want him, or care for him cause of some other dude. My incognito is my number 1 choice in everything. I believe at this point i should just go all out for incognito so he know's he is the one i want. But the question with that is, does he want it? will he want it? Should i wait until he is ready, or should i show him that i am for real about it?
lol this is soo long, i'm just going to cut it short & leave it like this for now. I'll make a part 2 if necessary.
My friend said to me, "Do you ever realize that when a woman is ready to settle down a guy is never around?" Then it was mentioned how when a woman brings up commitment men think of "excuses" not to be with you. EX: a male told me "i dont like the thought of you being with another man, or another man touching you." I said "alright then be with me, lock me down so no one else can have me." He responded with " i can't do that right now i have other stuff i have to deal with first." now with that i sat & waited thinking he was going to tell me what "other stuff" he had to deal with. he claims he has friends that want to be with him, but he doesnt know how to tell them no because he doesn't want to loose a friendship. Now the question is, if you don't want to be my man, why complain about how you hate the thought of me being with someone else? If you hated it that much, you'd be with me so you had no worries.
I am willing to be with someone now (we'll call him Incognito) & i tell Incognito all the time how i feel about him. His trust in me is not that good due to a mistake i made when we first started talking, but i don't blame him. I then began to work on building my trust back up with him, & right when i thought things were going well he decided to tell me "right now i can't give you what you are looking for. you do you, ima do me & when i'm ready i'll let you know. " Of course in my mind i thought "oh im not going to do me because there's no one that i'm attracted to besides you". & of course with my luck i met some one new. (We'll name him Bob.) Met bob, and of course he didnt grab my attention right away because i wasn't even interested in finding anyone. But then, it just grew into more than a friendship. After awhile things fell apart, but Incognito realized that i was "talking" to someone & in his mind i'm pretty sure he was thinking "if she like me why she talking to another dude?" which makes perfect sense, but yet you told me to do me. so unexpectedly i did. Bob & me eventually decided to just remain friends, being more than friends was just too much for us to handle. After the fact i realized how much i truely want Incognito & the thing about him is that even if i was with another male, if incognito came to me & said "i'm ready", whoever i am with at the time would be dropped on a dime. Due to the fact i've been waiting for incognito for what seems like everrr, if he gave me the chance i'd jump at it so quick. Honestly, i'm not sure if he is scared of commitment, or just scared of being with me due to my past. If i was to settle down & be serious with someone, there are no worries necessary.
I have always wanted a man that can complete me, give me what i'm missing in my life. If & when i get him, he will be THE ONLY man in my life. Of course i will have male friends, but everyone & their mama will know that i have a man, & he is my everything. Seems a little much, but that's all i wanted. & incognito seems to be the perfect squeeze for it. Something about me makes it difficult, but i am trying to work on it. Incognito is the one who pointed this out to me also. I am very impatient. If i want something from someone & they don't give it to me when i need it, i go somewhere else. I hate that about me because i pass up the good opportunities. I want to put my all & everything into incognito, but it's hard when he is unsure about it. At this point i'm unsure about it all. The only thing i am sure about is my feelings towards him. They have not changed & they won't change. The question is though, do i keep pushing to make an us, or do i do me until he is ready?
I hate the thought of me doing me now. I dont want incognito to think i dont want him, or care for him cause of some other dude. My incognito is my number 1 choice in everything. I believe at this point i should just go all out for incognito so he know's he is the one i want. But the question with that is, does he want it? will he want it? Should i wait until he is ready, or should i show him that i am for real about it?
lol this is soo long, i'm just going to cut it short & leave it like this for now. I'll make a part 2 if necessary.
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Erin Marie
23 years young - female
Born & raised in Chicago.
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